{MY BABY BOY TURNED 2YRS OLD TODAY... WHOO HOOO!!!}

**Warning: Long Post but at the least I needed to document this time in my life so that I will always remember!**

This morning I woke up with so much on my mind. Today is February 9th, a beautiful day. Two years ago this was the day that my baby boy was born. I remember his first cry like it was yesterday. His smell, his hair, his smile.... ahhhhh how sweet. I knew that when I had him each birthday would grow even more significant but this one might take the cake. This morning he will probably wake up and belt out random cries to let me know that he's awake and ready for the day. He might whine a bit too much, make a mess out of rooms that I JusT straightened up, and drop all of his lunch onto the floor because he seems to get a kick out of watching me pick it up. But today.... I just don't mind as much because he's HERE!! He's healthy, he's smiling, he's living, he's breathing...

Back in August things just didn't look the same. 

It was a Thursday night and Brian picked him up from his grandparents house. I unzipped his coat and gave him billions of kisses as he jumped out of my arms to go play. The Norm! I asked for the grandparent report and Brian said, "He did just fine. Dad said he had a cough but played and ate as usual." 

Dressed for bed, milk poured and blanket in hand, we said our confessions and he was down for the count. The next day things were fine. He seemed to be a bit more cuddly than normal, a bit warm to the touch but no fever... I checked. Fast-forward to bedtime. Same deal. Milk poured and blanket in hand, we said our confessions and he was down for the count. But this night, Friday night, I woke up to the sound of faint cries. He wanted to be held. Okay, no big deal... I don't mind a little extra cuddling. His breathing seemed slightly strange ( I was an asmatic child and something just didn't seem right to me ). 

I felt like I heard a bit of wheezing. Or was I being too extra? I asked Brian and he told me that kids wheeze sometimes. "Probably just a cold", he said. I called the doctor and he said, "A bit of Benadryl and a cool mist humidifier should do the trick. Just watch his breathing and make sure he isn't breathing from his chest, showing signs of distress". 

For some reason I didn't feel any better after chatting it up with the doc. But I chalked things up to being an overbearing mommy, I guess :/ Within a few hours he was full blown lethargic. Seriously not my normal rambunctious, super smily, ultra chuckle-e baby boy. Brian took him and put him down for a nap with the cool mist on full blast and mommy trying to keep herself busy in order not to think of the fact that things just didn't seem right. Within the hour I heard Brian scream my name from the nursery. I rushed into the room. Brian was changing his diaper and pointed for me to look at him and check his breathing. 

My cutie's tummy was sunken in and barely seems to be inflating with air. 

I freaked!

I tried to stay calm and softly told Brian to grab his jacket. "We are going to the hospital NOW!!!"

Everything happened so fast. And within a few hours, sadly, my baby boy looked like this.... 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my heart ached!!! And all I could do was close my eyes and ask God to give me strength! I could'nt believe this was happening. What had I done wrong? And, in the midst of putting my baby to sleep to be intubated and being transferred straight to the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit of a neighboring hospital I was told that my precious baby boy has Pnemonia that has grown so severe that his left lung had collapsed!!!!!! Be prepared for him to be admitted for the next few weeks, they said!!!! 

My heart could have stopped right there. 

I felt numb!!

I suddenly felt like my life was on auto-pilot. 

I remember closing my eyes and whispering, "Lord, I can't.... I need you....NOW!!"

... and I remember hearing, very clearly, "I'm right here!"

I kinda wish I could say that the days to follow were a blur but I can't. I remember every day, every step, every smell, every sound, every medicine, every doctor, every nurse and every sign of God's sweet grace so clearly. As I sat next to the hospital bed, five months pregnant, nauseous and feeling all kinds of faint, I looked at my baby lying there w/ tubes in every direction and asked the Lord why this was happening?

and suddenly I began to hear...

"we walk by faith and not by sight" 2 Corinthians 5:7 

"faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things not seen" Hebrews 11:1

Many scriptures that I'd read many times before began to flood my head and I had a sudden desire for more.

More to give me strength.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Phillippians 4:13

More to give me hope.

Our great desire is that you will keep on loving others as long as life lasts, in order to make certain that what you hope for will come true. - Hebrews 6:11

Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. - Lamentations 3:21-22

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; - Lamentations 3:25

More to give me comfort.

As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you - Isaiah 66:13

More to get me through.

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me  - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Before I knew it we had already had visitors. Friends came with food and books of healing scriptures. Brian's parents came, my amazing mother, grandmother and auntie were on the way and our Pastor and his wife showed up and he had this to say. He told us to walk through the halls of the hospital and confess our scriptures to build our faith. He reminded us to speak, to use the words of our mouth and declare what has already been promised to us in God's word. And this is exactly what we did. 

The rest was far from a blur but I will spare the particulars. We went smoothly from step to step. As I sat there and watched a machine breathe for my sleeping child I confessed the word constantly. I read to him, I talked to him, I even played him his favorite Noggin songs on my iPod (gotta love the iPod). And as each day went by we moved forward. Day 3 to day 4. Day 6 to day 7. As our confessions got bolder I watched as they removed one medicine after the other. As his tiny body got stronger I watched as they turned one machine off after another. From the removal of his breathing tube and the moving out of ICU we watched. As he started to eat again and play with toys we were there. And then finally it was time to go home. 

We had made it through!

I remember sitting on the couch with my baby boy in my lap and the smell of his hair and the feel of his hands as he held mine and once again I thought "Lord why did this happen?" That is when I remembered two particular scriptures...

"No weapon that is formed against you will prosper..." - Isaiah 54:17

The bible never says that trials wouldn't come but it constantly reminds up that when they come they won't succeed and finally I was lead to this verse...

If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. - 2 Corinthians 1:6 

and I realized that we experience situations like this so that we will know what it is like when he comforts us and in return we can offer that same comfort to others when they go through similar things.

A few days after we came home from the hospital I had an Oprah like Aaahhhhh Haaaaaa moment! When my experience and revelations came full circle. I was chatting on good ole' Facebook when a friend from highschool sent me a message. She had seen an update letting everyone know that we were home from the PICU. She briefly wrote about how it was rough for her as well as she experienced months in the NICU after her baby boy was born and knew exactly what I was going through. In just that string of messages she was able to comfort me in no way that anyone else could (besides Christ) because she had been there. And just as she was able to comfort me and God comforted her, I will be able to do just the same. Ahhhhhh Haaaaaa! 

It was in that very time in my life that I learned how to put all of my trust in God and lean not on my own understanding. And for that very reason I thank God for today. Today, the day my baby boy turned 2!!!

(I know this is blog world and you never know who is reading. For that very reason I am more than grateful to all of those that were so special to us during this time. From the wonderful nurses to the most AMAZING pediatric attending physician EVER. From the friends and family to my awesome brides who visited and made me take a coffee break. We say THANK YOU!!!!!!!)

XoXo,

Syreena

Comments

[Jiye]

What a story...I can imagine the fear!! When my daughter was first born, they whisked her off to NICU right away because they heard her wheezing. I never even got to look at her or hold her. They found a small whole in one of her lungs and she had to stay in NICU overnight. It was heartbreaking, heartwrenching, and I was an emotional mess. I was a first time mom and this was not how I envisioned meeting my child for the first time. But THANK THE LORD!! The hole closed up on it's own and she is perfectly healthy! Praying for your dear boy....

[Nakeia]

Amen Sister!

What a wonderful expression of God's grace toward you and your family.

[Senneca]

This post made me cry for several reasons.....All I can say is we serve a MIGHTY GOOD God.....and his plan is always perfect!!!!!